{ this moment }

{this moment}

 

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

 

 

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

 

 

Inspired by Soule Mama

 

 

Finding Myself Again

I've been a little quiet in this space.  My mind certainly hasn't been quiet, but I haven't known how to channel all the thoughts floating around my mind into something that makes sense.  All wonderful thoughts, but ones that need plenty of quiet consideration and discussion with those I love most.

 

We are in a major season of change in our family.  We moved in August, hubby started grad school, and the kids have been going through major periods of growth and development.  All have been welcome changes, but major changes in life are great for making you pause to evaluate the path you're on.

 

One thing that has become abundantly clear over the past few months is how quickly the kids are growing up.  From the time Jackson was born until some time this past fall, they have required almost all of my time and attention.  Not because they are needy or demanding, but because they were babies and toddlers...and just by the very nature of such beings, they can't do much for themselves.  My days were consumed with their care and making sure I kept them alive.  Some days that was easier than others. 

 

Ever since I was a very young girl, I have known I want to be a mother.  I love being Mannchen and Töchterchen's mother - those two exceed my expectations.  But as they are growing up and becoming capable of doing things for themselves, I've realized I cannot let them become my entire life (or maybe I should say, stay the center of my life).  Our goal as their parents is to raise two independent, intelligent children that will someday leave our home to begin lives of their own.  And I'd rather not fool myself into thinking they are all I need, only to wake up fifteen years from now in an empty house and only then start wondering what to do with my time.

So, yes, they are still quite young and being able to get up, dress themselves, make their beds, and play independently while hubby and I start our morning is only a start.  But it feels like a small piece of freedom after the demands of past few years, a chance to find myself again.  It has led me to start thinking about how much less they need me now and how that will only increase as they continue to grow.

Other than motherhood, I've had dreams for myself - interests, passions, and hopes of more school.  Right now I don't know what I will decide to do with this sense of finding myself again.  I've had plenty of ideas, that's for sure. 

All You Need is Love...Most Days

A lot of what I say on this blog is about how fulfilling our life is, regardless of money.  I carry around this message that "all you need is love" and "money doesn't equal happiness". 

But some days I don't buy it.  Sure, no amount of materialism is going to bring happiness into my life.  Most of the time I am perfectly happy living the simple life and there's few possessions I truly want.  For the day to day life all I need to keep a smile on my face is the love of my family and friends, the smiles on my children's faces, a long conversation with a loved one, and good food in my belly.

The, last night we experienced a harsh example of when love just ain't enough.  If money wasn't an object then we could have told the veterinarians, "Sure, do an MRI.  Go for the surgery.  Just fix our dog as fast as you can." 

See, yesterday a very important member of our family got seriously hurt.  Our beloved, goof of a dog, Brady, injured his back, his spinal cord, in some way.  And right now all we can do is hope that it's the one not-so-bad option.  All we can do is hope that will a lot of pain management and rest over the next two days it will heal itself.  Because if it doesn't, we don't have any other options.  If it doesn't get better in the next few days, there's nothing we can do.  Brady would need surgery and we just can't afford it.

And right now is when I get angry about living on a budget and how unfair it is that some people don't even have to think.  They could just fix their pet. 

So, yes, money can't buy you happiness most days, but today it could.  We're here in this tiny, dumpy apartment, with hubby in grad school, because we have to acknowledge that to some extent money does add to happiness.  Living paycheck to paycheck, barely getting ahead each year was not a lifestyle we were willing to live forever.  We fully acknowledge the importance of saving for retirement, for our children's college, for a farm, maybe for travel some day. 

I'm in no way abandoning my belief that for day to day life, all you need is love.  I am simply acknowledging that money plays a part in happiness also.  And I'm desperately hoping that our sweet, protective, trash eating, wandering, loves to sleep on the couch, pooch comes home to us soon.  He makes this family complete.