Friday, May 27, 2011

Childhood vs Adulthood

When I was a kid we moved a lot - a lot a lot.  I think the final count was eight times, plus the move to Newport News for college.  I think this explains why we're still in Newport News.  I loved growing up in my family, but I had ZERO interest in ever moving again.  Maybe Newport News wasn't the best place to select for raising children, but we're here, Justin has a job, and we have a house.  Anyways, that's not the point of this blog post.

The point was to talk about how different it is making friends as a kid verses when you're an adult.  As a kid it's so easy to make friends and meet people.  You go to school all day and you're constantly around other kids - it's pretty easy to pick up a friend or two.  Don't get me wrong, moving still sucks, but the younger you are the quicker you get over it.  Besides that, you have no choice but to get over it and move on with life.

As an adult, it's so much harder to meet new people and make new friends.  I've been in Newport News NINE years now.  I've never lived anywhere that long.  Wow.  But four of those years were college and the first two or so were a hybrid of work/college life since Justin was still in school.  Now Justin and I have found that most of our college friends have moved elsewhere and even though we haven't moved, we're back in the position of trying to making new friends.

I keep trying to think of ways/places for us to meet more young couples/families.  Church would be a great place to start, but it's a lot of work to convince Justin to go regulary.  Plus he works Saturday and Sunday mornings now.  I joined a "mom" group the fall after Jackson was born and met some great ladies there.  We joined the YMCA and I've met a few people there and see lots of the moms from the group.  I've tried to be better about going to parties and events that I'm invited to - even though by 7pm (when most things start) I'm exhausted and ready to just veg on the couch or finish a cake.  I've met lots of women and that's great.  But as an adult it's so much harder to make deeper friendships.  I don't remember it taking much work as a child, but it takes so much time as an adult.  Plus, as an adult there's a whole different set of issues to worry about - we don't have as much money (my hubby is a teacher - but we do great with what we have and we aren't in debt unless you consider a mortgage a debt.  Our house is modest.  Our cars are older, but paid for!  We don't have tons of clothes or stuff or jewelry or any of those other things people with money have.), we have completely different child raising ideas (I'm not a worrier.  I REFUSE to use anit-bacterial wipes/lotions/soaps.  My kids get dirty and I'm glad they do.  I don't gush all over Jackson everytime he falls down - "brush it off" is a more favored technique.)  I'm not really a girlie girl (Most of the time shopping just pisses me off.  I almost never wear make-up.  I never iron my clothes.  I hate blow drying my hair.), we're younger than a lot of other parents (We're both 26.), our kids are younger than a lot of other parents (They are 21 months and 6 months).  etc. etc. etc.

Anyways, all of this is basically just to say, we're trying to make new friends and it's hard.  I get so nervous before I meet new people (I'm that new, nervous, sweety lady), but I know I have to get over it.  I feel so awkward in new situations (how do I act?  what do I say?), but I know I have to get over it.  I worry about what I said or did after I get home (did I talk too much?  did I say something weird?  did I listen enough?  etc), but I know I have to get over it.  So, if you're reading this and we've recently met, please be patient with me.  I'm trying to make new friends - real friends - but I'm one of those nervous, awkward people sometimes.  I'm working on it.