Monday, April 30, 2012

Transitions

Now that I am no longer working, we have decided to transition both kids into the same bedroom.  It just made sense to us that they share.  Jackson already had two twin beds in his room and his room is huge, considering I keep all toys out of the bedrooms.  So, last Tuesday we made the big switch.  And at 9:45 last Tuesday night, Summerlin wound up back in her crib because neither kid had fallen asleep.  Thankfully, things got better after the first night and they've been sleeping in the same room for almost a week now.  Naptime doesn't always happen, which is really rough because my babies need their sleep, but hopefully I can come up with some new ideas and they will get adjust. 

On the bright side, it shows us just how much they love each other.  They are so excited to be in the same room.  They usually spend an hour (or more) playing and laughing with each other after we put them down at night.  I'm hoping this will lessen over time, as the novelty of sharing a room wears off, but until then I do enjoy hearing their laughter over the monitor.

This morning I started taking down Summerlin's crib (which was Jackson's first).  It's exciting to start organizing our office/guest bedroom, but it made me a little sad that we will never again have a baby crib in our house (well, maybe for the grandchildren one day).  I feel like we just bought the crib yesterday and now we're all done with it.  I can't believe how quickly that happened. 

But I will drown my sadness in organizing my new sewing/crafting space and adding feminine touches to a VERY BOY room....all without buying a single new thing, somehow.  :)

In other news, last week we started participating in a produce CSA.  We got a very generous basket of produce with several veggies that we have never tried.  We found out on Sunday that we love Swiss Chard.  Tonight Justin and I are going to try turnips for the first time.  We are so excited to get to try so many new things that I would never think to pick up at the grocery store.  Everything is locally grown (well, within the state), so we will also get a few ideas of things to try in our own garden next year.  It was way cheaper than I ever imagined (only about $32/week, which is actually a good bit less than I was spending each week on produce), so I highly recommend it!  **Bananas not included, so I do still have to pick a few of those up each week for my little monkeys.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Why so fast?!

My dad always told me that I grew up so fast.  That to him it felt like one day I was a baby, then he blinked and I was grown.  I never understood just how much he meant that until I had children of my own.  This morning I read this blog and it brought tears to my eyes.  I know that long before I'm ready for it, my babies will be in school, then teenagers, then adults out on their own.  I know you can't keep them small forever, but it's still hard to see how quickly the time passes.

That blog also brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of all the times I wish I could have a do-over with my kids.  I wish I could relive both pregnancies and try to savor them a little more instead of trying to rush right through them (oh how I miss the feeling of them moving/kicking).  I wish I could re-do labor, delivery, and the moments right after each child's birth to make it a more gentle, natural experience.  I wish I could relive the newborn and infant stages - to hold them a little more, snuggle them a little more, try much harder to succeed at breastfeeding them, and so many other things. 

But we don't get do-overs.  So, all I can do is be thankful that after today I will get to spend everyday at home with my kids.  I can be thankful that they are still only 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and I do still have so much time with them.  I can focus on raising them in all the natural, simple ways that I think are best.  I can't beat myself up over all the time I wished away, wishing for them to be a little older, a little more capable, but I can learn from myself and savor their sweetness from here on out.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Almost over, thank God.

No, I am not taking the Lord's name in vain.  I truly mean, THANK YOU GOD that tomorrow is my last day of working and classes at ODU.  And it will truly be my last....maybe ever, maybe just for the next ten years or so.  Tomorrow is the last 12 hour day away from my babies, with the exception of two much shorter exam periods next week. 

I was a really, really good student at CNU.  I graduated in four years with a B.S. in Mathematics and a minor in Leadership.  I had a 3.76 GPA and I did nothing but study (and run).  That was my life.  And in all honesty, I LOVED my four years there.  If I had to do it over again, I would do it the exact same way.  With the exception of computer programming and analysis, I enjoyed all my classes.  I just assumed I would enjoy graduate school too.  Boy was I wrong.  For starters, I have completely different priorities now.  Imagine that!  Second, it turns out that a masters degree in applied mathematics is comprised of twelve classes and nine of those classes involve either computer programming or analysis...Ugh.  Talk about realizing you're in the wrong graduate program a few weeks/months too late.  But as stinky as that is, I really think most of my unhappiness with school goes back to my first reason - completely different priorities. 

If I had studied 50 hours a week (or at least 30-40), I would have done very well this semester.  But I didn't.  I barely did any work when I wasn't on campus because I have a household to love and care for.  I have food to bake/cook, laundry to wash, dishes to do, a garden to tend, a husband to spend quality time with, and babies to love.  And boy to I love them (and their daddy).  Sorry world, I disappointed you, but I just couldn't set those things aside.  I hate (really, really hate) admitting when I've completely screwed up.  I can do it, I just don't like it.  I screwed up big time by trying to go back to school at this time, in this program.

I might pull of C- in both classes, but that's doubtful.  I guess I'm doomed if I ever try to come back to this program and pick it up again.  But I'm pretty sure I won't.  My heart is just not in it anymore.  I like math, but I think I've reached a point high enough in math that all the parts I like about it are gone(i.e. solving actual problems). 

From here on out, I am putting my full trust in Justin to provide for this family.  I will bake cakes on occasion and tutor high school students in math (because I do still like that kind of math).  Mostly, I will love my family and raise my babies.  I will never work again as long as they are at home.  I will wholeheartedly support Justin's dreams to go back to school and I will be his #1 cheerleader.  Maybe someday, many years from now, I will go back to school for something....but I have no idea what - maybe I'll be a nurse or a midwife or maybe I'll pull off being a homemaker for the rest of my life.  And I am incredibly okay with that.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter 2012

We spent Easter weekend in Blacksburg with my parents and Justin's sister, Megan. As usual, the five hour car ride was hell, but once we're there it's always nice to be home.

I forgot to take pictures of the kids on Easter Sunday. I also forgot to take picture of their baskets - which had a cute knitted bunny, felt chicks, Summerlin's baby doll got a sleeper (so she won't be naked all the time), and playsilks...all crafted by mama. Plus I finally got around to sewing liners for their baskets, but they are now put away in the attic and I'm too lazy to drag them back out just for a picture - I'll hold you in suspense until next year when I might remember. The Easter bunny also brought Jackson his own red wheelbarrow. Now he can really get some serious work done in the yard.

Justin and I also were able to enjoy a date night out on Friday night in Floyd County, VA. It was our first time there and we really enjoyed looking around. We also found a great little pizza/local beer place for dinner. I wouldn't mind going back again soon!

In our typical fashion, we were late to the Easter egg hunt at Tech's vet school. So, my parents, cousin, and Meg raced back to my parents house to set one up there while we took the long way home. Jackson found a chocolate egg in his first egg (hence his chocolate mustache) - this dramatically slowed down his progress because he HAD to stop and open each egg as he went.  Some eggs had stickers and made no sound when he shook them.  He started chucking those the side after awhile....and Summerlin came along and cleaned up after him.  Summerlin was just an egg hunting machine.  She probably found at least twice as many as he did.  Here are a few picture of the one time I did remember to pull out the camera. 









I hope everyone else had a wonderful Easter weekend also!