Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Why so fast?!

My dad always told me that I grew up so fast.  That to him it felt like one day I was a baby, then he blinked and I was grown.  I never understood just how much he meant that until I had children of my own.  This morning I read this blog and it brought tears to my eyes.  I know that long before I'm ready for it, my babies will be in school, then teenagers, then adults out on their own.  I know you can't keep them small forever, but it's still hard to see how quickly the time passes.

That blog also brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of all the times I wish I could have a do-over with my kids.  I wish I could relive both pregnancies and try to savor them a little more instead of trying to rush right through them (oh how I miss the feeling of them moving/kicking).  I wish I could re-do labor, delivery, and the moments right after each child's birth to make it a more gentle, natural experience.  I wish I could relive the newborn and infant stages - to hold them a little more, snuggle them a little more, try much harder to succeed at breastfeeding them, and so many other things. 

But we don't get do-overs.  So, all I can do is be thankful that after today I will get to spend everyday at home with my kids.  I can be thankful that they are still only 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and I do still have so much time with them.  I can focus on raising them in all the natural, simple ways that I think are best.  I can't beat myself up over all the time I wished away, wishing for them to be a little older, a little more capable, but I can learn from myself and savor their sweetness from here on out.