Friday, September 13, 2013

A Tough Spot

I had in my mind that I would blog even more after we moved.  That I would be so inspired by our new setting, I would turn into a blogging machine. 

However, life is never quite that simple. 

We love it here.  We love being in such a wonderful town, a gorgeous setting, a place that embodies the lifestyle we desire. 

But, you know, it's life, and life is never quite that simple.

While hubby is enjoying his grad school program and I have the work schedule I hoped for...we're finding both to be much more demanding of our time than we ever imagined.  He is on campus for long hours, then comes home and has more hours of studying to do.  I am so exhausted by the time I leave for work around naptime, only to come home around dinner time even more exhausted.  I am finding it to be a major adjust to get accustomed to working outside of the home. 

Many days I am really struggling to maintain my patience and a kind heart later in the day.  I just want to sit back and relax, but there is dinner to be made, a kitchen to clean up, kids to get ready for bed, and a house to pick-up (thank goodness it is small!).  The kids are too young to truly get this and I don't mean to be impatient with them, but I have days that I really struggle to show them the love and compassion they deserve.  And I've been gone from them all afternoon, so I just want to enjoy being in their presence again, not stress over all that needs to get done.

One day this week I almost couldn't take it.  I was in a crappy place emotionally and struggling to find the beauty in this new path of life.  Thankfully, I have a hubby who loves me even when I'm cranky and he went out of his way to care for me.  And, thankfully, those days are usually followed by far better ones, filled with love and outdoor time with my favorite kids.

Moving has had it's effects on all of us - the kids are slowing emerging from a much more demanding, cranky period, hubby is adjusting to the demands and rigor of grad school, I'm adjusting to working in addition to maintaining my home-life responsibilities.  We know this is only a phase - with time we will adjust and these adjustments will be distant memories.  But until we do, some days just feel difficult. 

And, in the more difficult times, I tend to share less because I want this to be a space of joy and sharing.  I want to look back on these blog entries and remember the parts of life worth focusing on.  I don't want to pour negative energy into this space, only joy, love, and the beauty of life.  So, as we continue to adjust, I may have a more silent presence in this space.  I know this is only a phase.  We will adjust and I will find more to share in the coming weeks.